If we had the slightest idea of what we actually miss
as opportunities because of culpability, I think we would manage stopping
feeling guilty for nothing.
Yet only a few of us are conscious of this culpability
that weighs on us and that stops us from reaching and achieving what we meant
to. Unlikely joy, anger or even shame, fear or anxiety, the feeling of guilt is
insidious and thus, not easily identified. Hence, it is harder to isolate and
to treat.
As a comparison, a lot of Doctors say that diabetes is
among the worse diseases that exist because it used to begin its invasion in
the most unpredictable and unseen ways, and the person doesn’t even know s/he has it
until the day the diabetes triggers some other disease that gets hard to
release precisely because of the diabetes statute. It seems that a lot of
apparent diseases are nothing but a sort of manifestation of the diabetes. And
the terrible thing with diabetes is that people suffering from diabetes live
with it all their lives. Of course there are many other diseases that some
people live with all their lives, and correctly monitored and checked diabetes
allows to live a life as normal as possible. But crisis resulting from neglected
or uncontrolled diabetes, contributes to significantly reduce the lifetime of
the patient.
Culpability is mental diabetes. It comes sneakily and
you can’t even name nor describe it properly when you go through it. But it alters
your choices and decisions as well as your way of living. It is something that predator-minded
people use to destroy their prey without the later even understanding what is
happening. And even when they do, when culpability has gone too deep, there is
this sort of mental incapacity that hinders any liberation attempt. It often
takes a long time before the victims of this kind of people succeed to escape from the clutches of their predators.
But one thing to understand with culpability is that
though it has been sown by an external mean (mainly brought through education),
like any other mental or wrong belief, the concerned person is the only one who
can break it down.
What is culpability?
Now there is like everything in life, a good and a bad side to
everything.
There is a positive culpability (as long as you accept to consider
it as positive) and the negative silent one.
Concerning the positive culpability a French social psychologist
described it as follows: “Guilt is an unpleasant emotional
experience, characterized by a feeling of tension, of anxiety
and agitation".
This is the conscious kind of guilt, the one
that pushes us to avoid repeating some hurting or bad actions. In some ways,
this allows a certain intelligent social interaction.The negative culpability, the one I am referring to in this article, is the unconscious one which, because you can neither feel nor describe it properly, is thus dangerous, not only for our mental health bur for our physical one as well (though I won’t detail this here for the moment, lacking evidences concerning cancer cases closely related to this unconscious culpability).
All the way through this silent roommate closes our eyes to opportunities, keeps our minds away from common sense and puts our soul down. This negative culpability is made out of incapacitating beliefs strongly anchored in our minds concerning ourselves, what should be our “social” position, what we are allowed or not to do, what we are allowed to be and to not be. These beliefs often include wrong life axioms such as “life is sufferance”, “it is selfish to care about oneself”, “money is dirty”, “a moment of happiness indefectibly will call some moments of pain”, “success is only meant for others”, etc.
This silent culpability (mostly shaped from childhood and
from some life experiences that confirm the beliefs because of the mindset
focused on it), is thus about what we think
we deserve as individuals, what is meant for us and what is not. This is the reason for which some people will
unconsciously remain in some insane relationships, in some unpleasant jobs and
situations, striving all their lives for a pitiful existence because they will unconsciously believe that this is what
they deserve as a life. And I stress on
unconsciously because in a conscious way, these people will indeed look for all
the possible ways to make their lives better.
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| Rebooting one's brain until it gets back pure again, free from culpability. Credit image: Pixabay. |
It all is about what you think you deserve.
Now, in a mathematical and logical Life Natural
Process, what you think you deserve naturally comes to you. What you think you don’t deserve won’t disappear (though
you attract what you think of be it from a negative or positive point of view);
but you simply won’t see it because your belief would just hinder your vision.
And even if you can see it, your vision would still be hindered (because that
is what negative believes do, they hinder our vision) and thus you would take
the wrong way, spending useless time and energy doing things that you think
can take you to where you want to, while actually this would just take you
anywhere but there.
To explain it in another way, just imagine a baby or a
pet requiring the best cares (babies and cats are keen at this aren’t they?). We
adults have our connection hindered by a thousand things which include
our beliefs, but babies and animals are still mentally clean and connected to
the Natural Life Process. Hence they will use all their existing means to get
what they think they deserve, because they are convinced to deserve it in
respect of a natural and normal state we all are called to reach, and believe
me they will get these things they are looking for.
But let’s suppose that babies really were concerned
with culpability (as some experts say, which I must say I do not agree with at all), what
would happen when they will need something? Well, they wouldn’t cry or yell for it
as they usually do, looking for attention. They would just silently bear their
hunger, their pain or their frustration without bothering anyone, because assuming
that babies are concerned with culpability is assuming that they are concerned
with resilience as well (though again, I am not convinced about this). On a
long run you guess they either would get badly sick or worst, they could die.
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| Flush you mind, heart and soul and allow yourself to reach the best. Credit image: Pixabay. |
Notice that people
who over fear bothering people are more likely victims of this unconscious
culpability, like if they even were sorry to be there. Now, Life and its
Natural Process are about a sane balance between one thing and another, so over
bothering is as extreme and unnatural than not willing to bother at all.
Where does it come from?
There are many possible answers to this question, and
the main one is of course, that is mainly comes from one’s education and environment.
But now we could spend years and centuries trying to understand its original
causes in one’s life, what would it bring as a value?
I must say I am not very interested in spending too
much time in the past, when the goals to set and to reach are placed forward. Digging
in the past in order to understand some mechanisms or origin and context of
our inner incapacities, allows managing them in a better way when they happen
back. But this should only be to a certain extend. And though psychotherapies as
well as psychologies indeed do a very good job in the matter using as much and
as many modern tools as possible, there normally should be a limit for going
backward.
So, once you get a global understanding of the initial
causes and origins of your culpability feeling (which could take a week or a
100), the wisdom is rather to spend your energy on how to get rid of it. And
this is where psychology and psychotherapy, together with neuroscience and
neuropsychology (can) do miracles. But any one at an own level, with a strong
determination and a real curiosity and openness, can begin this work on
oneself.
Living without culpability?
This is a rather huge and complex process that I would
suggest to have it done with the help of experienced and competent people. But this
doesn’t stop you to begin it with a certain work on yourself.
It terms of work on oneself (which is suggested regardless
of whether or not you will require an external mentoring or support), the first
step consists in a deep introspection work, identifying the feeling of culpability
(a posteriori to begin with, and then in real time), the same way you would do
with any other kind of mental issues like anguish, fear, jealousy, etc. Once this isclearly identified, you can learn to isolate and to deconstruct it in order
to be able to name and to describe it properly.
Then, because culpability is closely related to wrong action we have done for real or in our imagination, one of the essential
steps to get free from it is to forgive
yourself totally, from what you may have done and from what you think you
may have done. But you need to give yourself this forgiveness that will free
you up. This will also allow you to be able to love and to forgive others as
well, but the most important person who needs this freedom is the one that hosts your brain, your heart and your soul.
Now, because the universe and our unconscious part speak in
symbols, the way you can communicate with them is also through symbols. There are
thousands of them. Some people will bury some symbols of their past, of their
sufferance, while others will face it differently, through an open talk, in joining
some groups, etc. Each decision here is personal and related to what makes one most comfortable with.
And remember:
 |
| ...that you deserve the very best! Credit image: Pixabay |
You have the right to think, to say and to do what
makes you feel comfortable with, as long as this is done in the respect of the people’s
opinion and rights around you. And you have the right to become absolutely who you
dreamed of, this is respecting the person that you are and the dreams that you
have.
BUT, if reaching your goals, your dreams and your
wishes doesn’t fit with your environment, then LEAVE IT! You are too much worthy
as a person to make to your environment the gift of your dreams.
You are not bothering anyone else but you! Fearing to
bother people too much is producing the opposite result. People are not at ease
with someone who is not at ease with her/himself.
You are what you fill your feelings and thoughts with.
If you want to be free from culpability and to allow yourself to reach what you
fully deserve, you need to work on your
feelings and thoughts. This is a fight between you and yourself. But this
is a necessary fight and if you can manage to feel excited and pleased in making the right YOU win over the borrowed one, you can acheive the highest goals.
And here again, introspection is a major step because
this requires a big inner change that YOU are the only one responsible of. You might
call for external help but you will be the only one able to shake your life up,
not anyone else.
You are NOT responsible of what happens in the world,
in your family, in your group or in your company. The only one you are
responsible of is yourself. So since this is the only field you can impact on,
start working on it now.
You deserve absolutely everything you dream of, as long as again, this remains sane for you and for your surrounding environment. There
is NO limitation to this except the ones that you set yourself. The normal
human state is to live fully healthy and successful. Do not let your thoughts and
people deprive you from what is destined to you. Do not allow it to belong to someone
else, just manage to reach it.©
Make It Happen!Mada
Personal & professional motivation-mentoring program.
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Excellent
RépondreSupprimerThank you Rohit Gehani for your comment, and most of all, thank you for apperciating :).
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