vendredi 28 juillet 2017

Give people value, not power. This is how we will build a better world for our children.

The conquest for power seems to be more than ever a sort of challenge for many. Power has taken a extra dimension that even overrides the rest to the point that we sometimes have his odd impression that power has become a sort of universal supreme value that gives to the ones who gets it, the right to act on the world and on their congeners with a sort of legitimacy. Of course that is what power is for in some way, and without power, leading teams, companies or countries would be somewhat of a tremendous work because of this human need of being guided by someone who has a cleared vision and who knows things better than him. At least this is the general opinion which I must say I do not agree with since if all humans were given the value they had and recognized as such, they would not need any supreme supervisor or leader (among the human, not in terms of higher dimension). There are in this world some communities building their life and their development without a Chief. Their functioning is based on a synergy of each one’s competences, responsibilities and needs. But this is not the point.

The point is about how to deal with people we are in interaction with in order to set allow a real development based on sane relationship.


The point is about energy.
Now, I have been part of those people who considered the talks and explanations upon energy, as somewhat of esotericism. Esotericism being then in my mind a sort of strange things that rich idle housewives were talking about between two yoga sequences, at the loss to say clever things (I deeply apologize for this by the way since this is nothing about not knowing what to talk about and nothing about idleness but really about awareness and consciousness). 
And when I began to ask myself some pointed questions about how the universe worked, how God worked and how the little me (as well as the other little humans) could ever get in interaction with this vast unconscionable emptiness which seemed to be the source of a limitless power, I began to tell myself that maybe this energy thing wasn’t not just a sitting-room conversation after all.
Universe is a vast energy source, composed of unthinkable kinds of energies that all have their precise function. And as part of this universe we do, as any other living and non-living components existing on earth, have our own fields of energy which can vary according to our activities, our mindset, our beliefs, our environment, our life choices, etc.
If you were like me, considering this as romantic version of life, you should knock to science door and see how quantum physics and neuroscience explain it. These are two really interesting areas of science that you should begin to feed your mind with in order to see, to understand, to feel and to do things differently. As far as I am concerned, though I do not know much about quantum physics and neuroscience, their application in life, success and mindset are believe-me, really worthwhile to the point that I have developed for these two fields a real passion and interest. To rapidly illustrate it, they are the pragmatic and realistic side of spirituality. And though at first sight spirituality seems to be at the opposite edge of science, believe-me there is a lot in common in the two and I even think that a complete consciousness and awareness involves both spirituality and science.

But I have gone astray from the main point which actually was about the fact what energy had to do with power and value.

Power is grabbing energy, value is giving some.
OK, this might seem somewhat of a simplistic version of it but is illustrates it though perfectly.

 
Giving value to someone is giving love, importance and respect.
Credit image: Pixabay.

Now, do you have the slightest idea about this general (and I said general) negative, contemptuous feeling for be-interesting, bling-bling or attention-grasping people? Well, because grasping attention is, depending on the way it is done, grasping energy from people. Again, to illustrate it, grasping energy from someone is taking this energy by force, the same one a thief would take something from you by force. And believe-me, nobody likes this. And you guess that is not this much about the quantity of what has been taken by force, but the act of taking by force. And this is what power does. It takes energy from people without their full acceptance. And this never leads to respect of the one who has the power. This is why respect doesn’t love power. While value is actually based on respect, on the one we give ourselves and on the one we naturally give other, which leads to a mutual sane exchange on energy, to a mutual understanding and a mutual empowerment. And there only do things begin to make sense.

Power.

At work
When your boss or anyone that might be professionally or socially superior to you, imposes you for whatsoever silly excuse some procedures, work or life schedules, clothing, talking or thinking codes… this is power applied to education and to work environment. There will never be anything positive or productive coming out of this, never! There will be fear, willing to please which might lead to some sort of competition that might give an outside impression of productivity but this IS NOT productivity. This is and will always be labor in its full original sense of effort and striving for a living, and unproductiveness, hence, a productivity that will always be lower than the one it would have been if people were doing the same work with a different mindset and a different pleasure. By the way, I need to mention that the actual definition of productivity is wrong and I don’t feel sorry for saying this. The real productivity involves a minimum of pleasure and passion which inevitably lead to a natural empowerment and to a natural feeling of belonging to the entity or to the concerned group.

Whenever your try to please your boss, your chief, your colleagues or partners for whatsoever reason, you do give them power. Whenever you agree and accept things that actually don’t mentally, materially or physically suit you, you do give them even more power. Whenever you are being a sort of brown  nose, calling your superior by their tittles instead of just calling them by their names or with a simple Sir or Madam, you do give them power (a lot of people seem to be doing this for some reasons I just can’t get). President, CEO or Chief is not what is mentioned in their id car or in their passport and there is to this day no law obliging anyone to call someone else by her/his title so there is no need to be more papist than the pope.
The fact is that the more you give them power, the more you withdraw energy from you in their favor.  In short, it is like if the only reason you came out from your mother’s womb was to give these people a little or all of your energy. Is it really what you wish as a life-course? And talking about your mother, take a moment to ask yourself is this is the image and impression you want her or your children to have from you.

At home.
And so does it go in any other context since outside the work frame you might have some people that might be mentally superior to you, like your parents, or inferiour like your children.

Now I have been a victim of this kind of power applied at home… and with the biggest love you can imagine, but this would remain power or ignorance because actually parents do not necessarily know how to deal with their children. And as children grow and get more moral independence, they also get more questions, and more answers… hence, more personal opinions which don’t always match with the education frame that parents wish to raise them in.
My loving, caring and exceptional sweet mother had two main (not to say only) objectives in her life: the natural aim and need of (over) protecting her children from anything and anyone that she would consider as hurtful of dangerous, probably due to the fact that she herself faced danger and difficult situations a numerous time in her life. And the second natural aim was to make her children reach the highest level of existing success. And in each one of her works and decisions, regardless of the manner she would do or say it, I always felt a tremendous and powerful love behind. It was just the means she used for it, that didn’t really fit to my personality and to my conception of life. In terms of choices, mine had to be what she would say they would, and this would concern everything: the diet, the friends, the areas of education I was to chose, for the school I would go to (or not since she finally decided I would do the rest of my higher education class at home), the hair dress, the clothing, the religion, etc.
Again, this was love all the way. This was meant to protect me from the outside dangerous world and to shape me for success. But in spite of all the incredible love she put in the business, I ended out years later finally doing what wanted to and being who I wanted to be (neither of them matched with her values and principles).
So parents, love does not always make it all in education. Now education is not precisely my field of competence but I though suggest learning to give your children value and not power in order to empower them more easily and get them do what they are supposed to do by their own will, which is of course, more efficient and productive.
And this will lead them to give you (and your purposes) real consideration and value instead of fear and constraint.

Power is grasping energy from someone. Giving value is giving some to someone.
Credit image: Pixabay.


Now what is giving someone value.
Here is a definition of value from Wikipedia, the only one that eventually could suit to what I am trying to explain (I confess the researches have been done in a quick way): “Value (economics), a measure of the benefit that may be gained from goods or service.”

Actually in economy and business, a value added is that additional worth that a service or a product brings compared to others and compared to its original state, because it has gone through one or more steps of transformation. We thus can say that transformation is a main factor to value.

At a personal level, giving value to someone is giving her/him importance, accepting who s/he entirely is with her/his mind, moral and physical abilities and weakness. Hence is it respecting the person s/he is, and considering her/his opinions, aims, potential and mindset to its full value.

In a professional context it could be giving to colleagues and superior the value they really have (instead of giving them a statutes they claim to deserve), giving a full consideration to their work, to their prerogatives and to their opinion. But most of all it is looking at them as the human they are behind their professional etiquette and giving them willingly through our attitude, look, words and smile a little bit of warmth and energy. This is respect. And this is something neither money nor power can ever generate.

In a familial or personal context, giving children value and raising them in this functioning, is exactly the same thing. Children are very clever human beings and not some sorts of dollies unable to understand “adults discussion”. Children and teenagers can understand anything you tell them as long as you take the time, the energy and the attention to do it properly and to answer to the questions they may have about this. When children understand something, as long as they feel involved in the business, no matter how they like or dislike it, they will do it because they feel empowered to do it.

Raising children in the respect of their value is building them a better world for tomorrow.
Credit image: Pixabay.


When you give them this full human statute that they actually have (regardless of their age), with a mind which can understand and reason and with a heart which can feel things, you just also empower them to be the kind of futures adults our planet lacks. And that is respectful (of people and of the environment) and responsible citizens, who because you kept them connected to a Natural Life Process, will have developed a mindset focused on love and construction.
And this is where, as parents, you play a major role to the construction of what your children’s world will be tomorrow. ©


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