mercredi 9 août 2017

Success, progress and peace are made out of differences.


Our daily lives are meant to obey codes, rules, norms and standards that we actually are all supposed to know, but that only a few understand. From childhood to oldness, these rules guide our lives, actions and interactions. We are all (almost all) supposed to follow the same daily routine led by a sort of universally accepted discipline.
And if this discipline is something necessary and officially required for a social and intelligent cohabitation with other fellow humans, it is not self-discipline. And most of all, it is not and will never mean neither respect nor self-control which actually are the guarantees of a real peaceful and respectful social, collective interaction and cohabitation.

Now, the irony is that in the global understanding, self-control is supposed to result from discipline and from self-discipline, yet it is nothing but the result of a certain consciousness. 
And even worst, the great things of this world are nothing but a patchwork of billion differences of tastes, mindset, abilities, tendancies, etc. Yet the system we live in tends to stifle difference, hence tends to stifle evolution.

One day, when telling a friend I didn’t indend to send my daughter to a conventional school with conventional hours, conventional ways of thinking, acting and believing in things, she argued that my daughter would probably lack of self-discipline, meaning by this that eventually my daughter would be one of those marginal and wild young people unable to live in society because unable to feel and to give respect to others, due to a lack of self-discipline.

Well, I am not certain that social norms and standards are meant to bring whatsoever form of self-discipline. Rushing to the office or to school in the morning while all of your senses still are emerging, or being called to follow a certain dress code and behavior is nothing about self-discipline. Call it discipline, norms, standards, whatever, but not self-discipline, self-control or respect of others because it is everything but that.


Discipline is something imposed from the outsideSelf-control is the result of an inner process. And the later is the most efficient in terms of results.
Of course there are a lot of positive sides to discipline and they even invented a “positive discipline”, which somewhere shows that the global understanding of the discipline is rather pejorative in the collective comprehension.

But be it negative, positive or mega positive, discipline will always be something you need to bow under as a constraint. This means that it is something that you do not necessarily want to do but that you have to because this is what is asked from you without you always understanding why.  And even when this is explained, as long as no cells of your body are convinced about the sense of it then it does remain a sort of obligation. There even are cases when this leads to a loss of self-control at any available opportunity because of the lack of a deep personal conviction about it.

Nature is composed of billion of specificities. Only the humankind is not at ease with differences.
Credit image: Pixabay.


Self-discipline is more related to some rules that you apply to yourself in order to reach a certain goal, while self-control is something that happens only when you dig deep enough inside you to know your limits and to develop your inner strength in order to restrain yourself in some situations or to force yourself in some other ones, each case being related to the respect of someone and of something.
In other words, self-control is the result of a deep work on oneself and resulting from a free will decision. The later is often taken once the understanding step is cleared, which is not necessarily the case with discipline. And the best thing about self-control is since this comes from an inner process, it gives like any other inner process, the most efficient and sustainable results and impacts.

Discipline is necessary in environments lacking consciousness.
Now, we all know that constraints and discipline are necessary in a world where this inner work process is either unknown or not considered as important. And to say it clear, every environment and context need a certain discipline because for millennia, consciousness has been stifled by religion, authority, dogmas and laws. These rules that have been set since almost the beginning of the world, have not given much space to self reflection and for years, talking about consciousness has been either associated to esoterism or to the fantasy of some desperate women and intellectuals. Today fortunately, things have changed since all the sort of global illness the world is going through has finally led humanity to look for a deep meaning to their earthly presence. And though only a few go to the edge of their inquiries because lacking time, energy or answers, there begins to be a growing tendency to awareness. Yet, discipline, rules, standards and norms remain the keywords.
There is not much utility trying to go through against the system unless there is a specific need of it, but there nevertheless comes a moment when, in terms of education, we need to ask ourselves if we really want our children to do things because they feel obliged to or if we would rather have them understand the hows and whys which will teach them to think and to decide by themselves, in a totally sane and respectful social and growth process with will undoubtedly profit to humanity.

If you are not convinced about it then try to ask yourself crescendo questions about the use of the hour system at work and at school, about what it really brings in terms of profits and well-being, in terms of productivity? Notice all these little ersatz of pleasures which have finally generated an addiction or an uncontrolled use for a majority (social network, TV, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, sorts of games, etc.) that humanity has invented in order to be able to deal more silently with the daily stress and fatigue and with the global mental and moral loss which are nothing but the impacts of these norms and standards set as rules.

Difference is what enriches. Valuying our children's differences will  undoubtedly benefit to humanity.
Credit image: Pixabay.


Note that none of these ersatz and pleasures is bad in itself, and yes, I wrote NONE, as long as they remain a controllable pleasure and not an addiction. But now, if these are just a way to adjust one’s deep wishes to the daily discipline and to the standardized routine of a work and school system that are eating your time and energy, maybe is it time to begin to think seriously about it. But what happens is that these norms have dictated our whole life to a point that both adults and children finally come to live a borrowed life because what they fill this life with is made in majority of things and situations that they didn’t not deeply wish or accept, but that they had to follow anyway... in the respect of norms that tend to become social “discipline”.
  

Shaping children’s minds and souls to some core values.
Children’s souls and hearts are naturally and deeply connected to justice, to equity, to what is beautiful, true, and most of all, they are totally mentally free, thus entirely connected to hope. But children are unfortunately growing in this system shaping their minds to accept a reality that their once child-soul didn’t understand. And this leads to create some adults totally brainwashed with very low standard goals (and sometimes values) because they are being based on what the rules and norms set as standard instead of being based on a deep inner connection.
Now, children’s brains still are very flexible, so the period of their childhood and youth should be a period during which their brains are filled with valuable principles and examples of construction (which again is barely the case because of the system they grow in). 

Now this is not a reason to take children out of the educational system. The school system is an existing system, hence a resource. And all the earthly resources, be they already existing or created by humans, are to be used, valued and to be given consideration since they are being the result of some efforts. Having resources at our fingertips and deciding not to value them to the best is waste. And if nature doesn’t like vacuity, its hates waste even more since this is considered as an insult to what is being given to humanity and an insult to the efforts that have been spent on it.
Furthermore, this resource helps us parents to bring knowledge and instruction to our children. This knowledge and instruction are a person’s value added, not talking about the fact that the longer the studies, the more structured and connected the brain cells (normally).  

But on the other side, this doesn’t mean that there isn’t a way to improve today’s educational system in order to make it give to children and students the most appropriate education.

What appropriate educational environment for your children?
It there any system adapted to the needs, to the capacities and to the development of children, knowing that globally, children should get enough space, time and opportunities to understand things at their own rhythm and to learn about the nature and about the life’s process?
When we see how children are unfortunately been taught too early and too much about pressure, blind obedience, ranking, fashion, etc. that makes them believe that there necessarily are in life some people above and some others underneath, some people would wish there were adapted educational systems that wouldn’t kill children’s individual specificities.  

Children need space, time and opportunities to discover things.
Credit image: Pixabay.


Now, it obviously is difficult to create educational systems which will give to each child and student an accurate and adapted environment and context. There are nevertheless more and more educational systems beginning to see education differently, learning for instance from the Northern educational system in which education system begins at the age of 7 and with a period of a least  one year  of travels oversees after the high school. This 1 year (sometimes more or less) period allows young people to get a life experience and to learn and understand some foreign realities and functioning, which as you know it, brings them more mind openness. These young people come back to their country more motivated in their studies and they often develop better abilities to stand back in front of certain situations.
Now, no educational system is better than another one. But there objectively is in these Northern countries less violence than in any other part of the world and the local economy and the daily lives are relatively well structured in terms of cohabitation and life organization.

Apart from this, there also are more and more concepts of free education systems functionning out of the standardized hour system, without a pre-defined scholar program, without a ranking system, etc. and where the key word for the student is “motivation” (Frenet, Montessori, Steiner, etc.).
On the ground, this often gives exceptional school results and most of all a particular mindset of children feeling particularly good with themselves, self-respectful because their natural rhythm is respected and because they know much more about themselves, which allows them to be in a position to know, to understand and to respect the difference of other people. There are a lot of reports confirming the positive results of this kind of educational system on the children on the net, unfortunately the ones I have are all in French.


Painting everyone with the same brush is not the best way to respect unicity and difference.
Again, I have nothing against conventional educational (and professional) system. And again this is more than useful in a society where loss of mental and moral landmarks is becoming a cruel reality.  But if productivity which is among the basis of a company’s or country’s growth and, is the result of our best physical and mental aptitudes, how could we naively expect productivity from a body and mind that have been wildly shaken up every morning by a yelling clock when the physical and moral rhythm still is a deep cycle of rest and trying to softly find its way natural way to the day? How can we expect children’s attention to reach their summit this way and make them more performant?
You might answer resilience, habit, necessity, and lack of choice... And you would be totally right. But then the question back would be: is it really the kind of lifestyle humanity is destined to?

Now, there is of course a huge logistic and organization issues to this free mind daily life system. And I hear some question rising like: what would our world look like if everybody was supposed to wake up at her/his own rhythm, going to work or to school at the time that would please him/her, leaving when s/he would want to and just simply doing what s/he pleases?  
You could as well, ask what the life of a person would look like without this basic discipline?

Well, the answer is: a maybe much better environment.

Crazy? Yes, totally!

Wrong? Not so sure…


All these things that we benefit from today were created by specific abilities… that yet are not properly valued in the standard system.
There is a good reason for which nature made each one of us different, with different cycle of attention and productivity, with different aptitude and abilities, and with different passions and centers of interest.

Trying to paint all these differences with just one standard brush and giving the same rhythm to all of these differences obviously makes little sense. And creating millions of little environments adapted to each one’s specificity would make more sense either.
But respecting all these differences within a collective system, in order to value each one of them for a collective goal actually suits more to the laws of nature, because each one of these specificities is meant to have a specific purpose later on. And this specific purpose is mean to benefit to the collectivity. Thus, what is the point of creating and accepting a system which kills (or does not respect) specificity when this specificity is what the collectivity will be looking for later on?

Peace, just like success and progress, are based on the valorization of each one's difference.
Credit image: Pixabay.


The point is not about reorganizing society, companies or educational system or to make them adapted to each person’s rhythm and needs.  The point is about how to value each one’s rhythm and specificities in order to get more productivity and efficiency in a collective system.

I can understand how standardized hours, dress code or way of thinking might be a sort of competition and pressure that sometimes might raise the general quality of results. And if a certain pressure is necessary for productivity, we all know what too much pressure does to efficiency on the long run.
And as far as the professional aspect is concerned, someone liberated from external pressure (n the internal one is necessary) and respecting her/his own natural rhythm is more likely to understand what self respect, others respect, responsibility, results-oriented work and impacts really mean. In addition, more and more scientific reports agree with the fact that freedom added to pleasure is a magic mixture which professionally develops empowerment and involvement. Aren’t these among the most important qualities required in a personal and professional context?

And the same applies to school systems.

If a child called to be a future responsible citizen, grows up in the values of respect, especially in the respect of his own differences, there obviously are more chances that he grows up in the respect of other people’s differences. In this mindset, extremism (in politics, religion, etc.), violence and any other current society disease based on lack of respect, will have less impact on him as a future adult.

Doesn’t this worth a certain try? ©



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Personal & professional motivation-mentoring program.

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