vendredi 11 août 2017

Success (and happiness) and the link with frustration.

There is a Chinese quote saying that “when Heaven is about to place a great responsibility on a great man, it always first frustrates his spirit and will, exhausts his muscles and bones, exposes him to starvation and poverty”.
And when you actually go through the big success stories of this century, you realize that if there always is a women behind any success, the pain, difficulties and frustration where never far behind.
Now, does it mean that only people having gone through hard times are meant to succeed and to be happy in life? The answer is NO, but the fact is that these people undoubtedly have more capacities to appreciate each single gift of life, and to manage their success and happiness in a more sustainable way.

Starting small is taking a guarantee of sustainability in the long run.
In entrepreneurship, experts advise to keep a wide vision, but to start small and to grow progressively, instead of starting big immediately. And the statistics confirm that start-ups and Companies starting with a small budget are more likely to stay in the long run compared to Companies starting with big or medium budgets. The reason is that starting small requires a constant reorganization and adaptation to the external constraints, needs and context of the market.  Adaptation is flexibility, flexibility is evolution, and all of these are among the key words and mindsets of business. The fact is that starting big immediately involves huge structures an organization at the beginning which later are harder to adapt and most of all, the evolution is not progressive which hence creates a bug somewhere when the external contexts are changing (I am talking here about starting business or starting people because entrepreneurs and people who already have strived for years actually have enough experience and knowledge of life and of the entrepreneurship context to be able to set a company of the size they wish, even though each experience is different from another one).
Now, in respect of the Natural Life Process, what applies to entrepreneurship applies to any other aspects of life.

The success mechanism requires starting from somewhere, trying something by our own and reaching further.
Credit image: Pixabay.

The Mechanism of success.
Starting from somewhere, trying something by oneself and going somewhere.
Now, it is important to mention that in terms of Success there neither are standards nor laws. Nevertheless, since success is the result of a Natural Life Process, it follows a certain Natural Life Process mechanism. The basis of this mechanism is to start from somewhere the same way life starts in the Natural Life Process, which is to say, from a particle, and to grow the same way the other living being grow in this Natural Life Process, and this is progressively. You all have heard about the necessity for butterflies to naturally strive hard to get out of their cocoons because this labor is necessary to release the liquid from their abdomen and to develop their wings so that they can fly properly. Many stories relate this little boy who once helped a butterfly to get out of its chrysalis when seeing how difficult the process was for the butterfly. 
The story shows what science and nature anyway confirm: without this striving effort from the butterfly, the growing process goes differently. Shortcutting this Natural Life Process in skipping this reauried efforts step, only led the butterfly to remain heavily on the ground, unable to fly because the liquid in its abdomen stayed inside it and because its wings hadn’t developed enough to allow it to fly.
The moral is that, in respect to the Natural Life Process it belongs to, the success mechanism requires starting from small, striving in order to develop vital inner capacities, and last, daring to make the first flying try by oneself.

Starting from somewhere means deciding to move ahead.
Or to move out or away from something. When listening to the genesis of some of the biggest success stories of this world, there always is somewhere a very difficult and sticking situation that seems to have no bottom and no up, like a long endless tunnel. Big celebrities, writers, actors, entrepreneurs, sportsmen, etc. had in their majority a very heavy past which seen from the outside, gave the impression that their lives woul lead to nowhere else but to some dark place where only sinners play. Until this magic sparkle which often comes through the means of a yelling though which says “Enough of this, I want and do deserve better from now on!”. Then the darker the bottom, the harder the sound because the stronger the determination to stop with what then looked like really unbearable.  
What happens is that Life and Universe are made out of energies, particles, vibrations, etc., our life, thoughts, universe, everything is made out and is a huge energy field, and each one of us is moving in our own energy fields, each one of our thoughts and feelings are different kinds of energies. And there is one very powerful triggering factor of energy, it is the energy of despair, like if all the frustration accumulated over the years had concentrated so intensively as and when of the pain, tears and distress, that it finally burst out, creating an amazing source of energy. This phenomenon is among the most powerful ones in the Universe, after Love, and its impacts often are seen on a life time period.   

The mechanism of happiness.                 

Success is related to how you feed your mind and soul and to what you feed them with.
Credit image: Pixabay.
A French psychiatric Boris Cyrulnik explains the strange link between the lack of something and happiness. In the collective understanding, happiness rather is the fact of people who already have something, love, friends, health, material resources, etc.
Yet, on the ground, the truth is different. People living in hard material conditions have more chance to really appreciate what they have, precisely because they knew what is was like not to have it. And the same applies to lacking love, health, etc. And I am a living proof of this assertion. I used to suffer from asthma when I was younger, and the least change of temperature, too much food, eating some specific food like mushrooms or just laughing too much on a too long period were triggering factors of this asthma and I would spent days breathing laboriously and with my strength reduced to its tenth, unable to provide a normal physical effort. And I remember that as and when of the release process, every morning and anytime I could, I clang to thought of being able to breathe normally again until the day I finally recovered my normal breathing. 
And you can’t imagine how sweet, magic, wonderful and so releasing it is for someone suffering from asthma to be able to breathe normally after a crisis. Now it is easy to understand that people suffering from any kind on handicapping disease, material lack or mental issues, are easier happy than any others, because the slightest positive change happening in their live suddenly looks like a gift.

Being rich or poor, happy or in distress at the outset is not necessarily a factor of influence.
Though the upper point of view could make one believe that rich heirs or people that have grown up all their life in comfortable and non stressing contexts, neither can’t succeed their lives nor be happy, this is not necessarily the case.
The cases are ways too specific to be all painted in with one brush, and as far as success is concerned, we all have heard about rich heirs going bankrupt because they never knew the value of money and efforts and thus didn’t develop the inner abilities and mindset required for success (which is again, made out of efforts, perseverance, adaptation, mindset evolution, etc.).
But we also have heard about heirs that have developed their family’s’ business and wealth to its best because the mindset they grew in shaped them for success.
Hence, saying that wealthy, healthy and carefree people can’t succeed or be happy is wrong. And no global observation can be applied as a generality since each space is specific, each environment, education, mindset, etc. all are different.
Nevertheless, success is one thing and happiness is another one. And when you have struggled all your life for things that you have been lacking sometimes during all your life, when this energy of despair pushes you to get it, there is nothing, I repeat, nothing too hard or too impossible that could hinder you from getting it.
And again, happiness is nothing but appreciating the things you have, the life you live and the person that you are. And appreciation comes from the discovery of something. It hence is easier for people who never had anything, to discover news things and thus to appreciate them, than for those who always had everything they needed (including things they never asked for and which are given to them without them asking for it or struggling to get it).
And globally, people coming from the bottom of their lives, looking for ways to get out of it with the belief that they will get out of it, are more certainly heading to its top and are more likely to stick to success and to happiness once they understand the process. Because they began to stick to it at the moment they saw the slightest piece of this success and happiness from the bottomed hole they once were in.
And last, like for entrepreneurship, a comfortable environment at the outset and during a certain long period, does not necessarily lead to the desire of change (why change a life that is perfect?). Hence, it doesn’t shape the mind to consider the possibility of a coming change and thus, it doesn’t teach the mind to the necessity of adapting to this change.  
While it is much easier for someone who has started small to adapt himself to the changing reality and context, because considering the possibility of a better life implies accepting the possibility of a coming change.

Why you symbolically need to close your old cycles in order to be able to open some news ones.
Considering it from the Natural Life Process point of view, life is made out of cycles. In this optic, tears, pain and despair later or sooner have their counterweight of happiness, provided there is from inside a desire that is strong enough to create enough energy to close the current cycle and to open a new one. This is why it is definitely is important to close some cycles, especially the negative ones. A opened cycle will manifest over and over and over again until someone closes it in order to allow the opening of a new one.
Closing a cycle is not this easy but is it not this hard either. It first requires acknowledging that you are in a cycle, and second to manifest the conscious and unconscious willingness to close it. The fact is that no matter how hard our conscious part might be looking for change, it requires the collaboration of the unconscious part which actually is the biggest and most influencing part of our inner central unit   And because unconscious part is much more complex to reach and to change, symbolic acts are the most rapid and efficient ways to communicate with it.
In this purpose, symbolically closing all the negative cycles of our life is necessary. There are a million symbols you can use to communicate with your unconscious part, but one of the strongest one consists in 1- symbolically saying bye bye or farewell to a situation (or to something that might symbolize this situation or person), and 2- in doing “as if” you already were in the new cycle you wish to open.

Happiness is more about appreciating the present moment and who you are than about having or missing.
Credit image: Tinah A.
This is how (consciously but most of the time unconsciously) most of the success stories that we know began, from the deepest frustrations and despairs to the fullest well-being and world usefulness, because there was in between a strong mindset so convincingly focused on change and on construction that this change and construction finally became a reality. This is the case of Oprah Winfrey, Mariah Carey, Madonna, J.IK Rowling, Denzel Washington, Lisah Nichols, Zara founder, KFC founder,…. and the 2/3 of the biggest successful and happy people of this world.
So the good news is that success and happiness are finally not about being rich or poor at the outset. It is about how you feed your heart, mind and soul, and most of all, what you feed them with. ©

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